During my blogcation this shit happened…I was mugged.
My two month old sparkling white Samsung Galaxy S5 was snatched out my hands and out my ears…I had my phones in at the time. Some fucker… rode past on his bike and snatched it right out my hands as I was sitting on a bench composing an email. I attempted to chase after him but sometimes you can’t out run the inevitable . Or at least I couldn’t and I watched my beloved disappear.
Prior to this happening I had been battling with a few demons from my past for some time. Regardless of all the searching I was doing,I couldn’t see the woods for the trees. To add company to misery I hadn’t backed up data stored on the device. And no…my phone wasn’t insured. I couldn’t afford the extra cost.
Besides…when have I ever lost a phone to need insurance eh?
One humongous bitch slap to the chops.
Fast forward five weeks- I am adjusting to not having my Samsung around.
Mentally I’m struggling to bounce back to my normal self . I feel so vulnerable. Scared of my own shadow. Physically and financially defenseless .
Physically- because this guy just rode up and took my property because he wanted to, because he saw an opportunity. I’m fortunate he rode past and not clocked me on the head. This situation could of been much …much worse. Sometimes I can act a little ghetto. Yeah..I got street smarts. Always feeling confident and capable that I can react quickly to oncoming danger, and brawl myself out of a situation where ever it be necessary to throw down. In reality it seams quite opposite is true. I’m extraordinary passive by nature. No cat like reflexes here babe. Just a sack full of fear. A fat cat lacking the skills to defend herself .
Financially- I am defenseless against the future. No plan in place for the what if. If my personal belonging went up in smoke tomorrow that would be all she wrote. I’d have to start again from the scratch. Replace all the equipment I have spent years accumulating to get T.U.T. running. No extra pot of money in case the worse happened and I needed to spend the night in a hotel. All this is attributed to my current income. It stinks! So I live week to week. Fingers crossed for a peaceful existence. No new problems this week I got find the money for please Universe. I live this way but I don’t enjoy doing so. So why on earth am I putting up with this life?
This is a hard pill to swallow as I pride myself as one who focuses on the bigger picture.
Bitch slapped with these harsh realities …which honestly I was aware of before being mugged but have gracefully plied below them…I feel emotionally I can no longer continue my journey to freedom, to attain all I want for T.U.T. Shantell knows not how to ignore the inevitable any more. I’m not giving up on everything…I’m just slowing down the emergence on my business my goals and reorganizing my priorities.
To end I will say everything happens for a reason, to move us forward. It’s hard for me to swallow being mugged,left feeling so terribly low, insignificant, poor and frightened of my own shadow due one fucker actions occurred for my eyes to be abruptly opened to the life I was choosing for myself. That due to an unfortunate event, the words ‘self defence” are for me broader in their meaning and have deepen my awareness . But if I think like a philosopher for just a few moments. If I change my mindset (which has become a regular practice since ) shift my paradigm. Shantell could view this experience as….
Until next time Tigers